Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
