I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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