"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
