so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
