sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
