You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
