I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
