so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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