She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
