Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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