I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
