Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
