Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
