So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
