I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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