I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
