I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
