haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
