You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
