Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
