Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
