While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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