I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
