yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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