So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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