He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
