So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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