Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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