There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
