I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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