Pants 0. Shit 1.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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