So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
