Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
