please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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