Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
