apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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