Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
