But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
