Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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