you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We just shotgunned beers for America
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
