yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
