my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
