I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
