you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
