you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
