I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
