I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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