AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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