can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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