maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
